Forgiveness (noun)

-the act of excusing a mistake or offense

 What needs to happen in order to truly forgive someone? Is it healing? Is it time? Or is it a combination of all of the above?

 A few months back I was faced with one of the worst betrayals that I’ve experienced in my adult life. I am someone who lets very few in my inner circle, however when I do let you in my inner circle we are considered family. That’s all, ride or die.

 Moving along, I was physically assaulted by a group of 5 females and one male after a night out and the people that I considered my “family” did not in my opinion do everything they could to assist. To add insult to injury they were not only close friends but business associates as well. Yes I broke my own cardinal rule and combined my personal life with my business life. Regardless, the situation then escalated when one of my former associates brought my family into the conflict. This was my ultimate breaking point considering the fact that myself as well as my family played a huge part in launching his career.

 I had invested time, money and my passion for music into starting this company, and had in my opinion done majority of the legwork to make the company successful.

 Now that you have some of the background you can understand just how disappointed I was when this whole situation unfolded.

 While I may be the sweetest person, you only have one opportunity to cross me and when that happens you are cut off. There is no time for explanations and there is no need for apologies. You and I are finished. Maybe it’s because I’m a Leo but loyalty to me is super important.

 I digress. Almost three months later I came face to face with my former associates. While I had thought I had forgiven them and moved on with my life seeing them brought up the same feelings of disappointment and anger-no make that rage.

 I am all about forgiveness, after all God has forgiven me time and time again, as have many others. When approached by one of the guys, he had sincere sadness in his eyes as he asked if things could be as they were before. My response: things will never be the same.

 It was precisely at that moment that I realized why it’s so important to forgive but not forget. Once we forget, we place ourselves in the same position to potentially get hurt again by the same people. While my facial injuries had healed, the blood clot has gone away; the swelling gone down; there was one part of me that hadn’t healed yet – my heart.

 It’s true that forgiveness is not for the other person but rather for yourself. As for me, I’ve realized over the past few days that I am ready to put on my big girl pants and forgive these boys. As for them? I hope they realise that the well has run dry, our friendship and business partnership has run its course. It cannot be retrieved from the recycling box and in an ironic way I am ever thankful that this situation happened because it truly put things into perspective for me. I realise now who’s important and who’s not. Its that simple.

I’m not forgiving for them, but for myself so that I can put all of this in my past and truly move into 2010 without holding any grudges.

xoxo

Elle

Be Sociable, Share!

•