My city is abuzz with news of what happened at Body English on Saturday night. This news was further confirmed after hearing the nights events from a family member who happened to be there.

I won’t go into the details of what happened because A) I don’t want to bring more attention to it and B) I feel these girls have been degraded enough. But as an advocate for self esteem and mental health it pained me to sit there and watch the video of these girls who were no more than maybe 19-23 years old strip almost as naked as the day they were born for a hip hop artist who I’m sure would use and abuse them then fly away and have no recollection of what transpired that night.

It was painful because they obviously don’t know their self worth. I took some time to research them on twitter after someone had posted their info on a comment and realized that these girls were excited by the attention and the fact that they were invited back to the hotel with this artist.

It pained me even more to know that these young girls have traded whatever ounce of dignity they had for 6 minutes of fame and a man who would never remember their name. What’s more is now that this video has gone viral anyone in the world has access to their behavior.

As a mother of two girls myself I can only shake my head, I know that kids will make mistakes, but somehow this is one that has the potential to follow these girls for the rest of their life. Suppose a potential employer Googles them and finds this. What about the humiliation that their family must feel?

Somewhere down the line they lost that sense of self worth. Why do I say that you ask? Because, if they had any sense of self worth they would have never stepped foot on that stage. By stepping on that stage they declared to the world that they want their bodies to be idolized in a negative fashion. They don’t care about their God given name or the fact that it will be dragged through the mud, and finally they proved that they don’t care enough about themselves.

I sat there and watched these men ogle and grab at these girls like they were pieces of wild meat. Watched them flash parts of their body that were only meant to be displayed to the person you love. The scary part was that they did it without an ounce of hesitation.

The cyber bullying that is occurring because of this whole incident is actually scary as well. Watching people judge these girls and call them names and ask for sexual favors only worries me more for fear of what these girls may due now. It would be quite unfortunate to see one of these young girls harm themselves from a mistake made in poor judgement.

I can’t help but wonder if now in hindsight these girls are ashamed by their actions or have they formed a wall around themselves so high now that they no longer care what the world thinks about them.

In the rare chance that one of these girls may ever read this I want them to know this: Your body is a temple, and any man who loves you wouldn’t ask you to strip down in front of hundreds ( and now hundreds of thousands) of people. Further more, clearly you need counselling because acting out is only further indication that you are crying out for help.

To others reading this I want you to know that this should not be a representation of what my city is. We have many women who are intelligent, educated and self conscious of the way society views them. Many women who are proud about their bodies, so proud that they know only certain people are privileged enough to view it.

To young girls and women reading this: Please know that while being a video girl may be great for the fame and recognition, it’s seen as a degrading career choice. Why not opt to establish yourself as a real model, or better yet aim to be a producer or director. Women have fought for hundreds of years to have the right to be able to do anything a man can do, so please take advantage of the fact that you can be lawyers and doctors and presidents. Aim for the sky, there is no dream that is unattainable.

xoxo

A saddened,

Elle

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